A healthy baby...

A few weeks ago Autumn was sick. It lasted less than 48 hours, but it was a scary 48 hours with a fever that peaked at 104.2. She wouldn't eat, wouldn't drink, all she wanted to do was nurse. It made me realize how thankful I was to have pushed through all the difficulties, pain and lonliness of being a breastfeeding mother, if only for times like these. Autumn is rarely sick and it never lasts long, but when she is I am happy that I still nurse because then I know that no matter what she is getting the absolute best medicine.

The following are a few of my favorite breastfeeding memories :)

Poop!

Yes poop is making me happy today, and let's be honest, it makes everyone happy. However today I had a really fun experience concerning poop. So our little pixie has been signing since she was 8 months, around 11 months she learned the sign for poop and started doing it everytime after she would poop, then she started making the sign while she was going and for the last couple weeks she has been signing for it right before she goes. I always think to myself "I should just take her to the toilet" but I never do. Well, today I did! It was super fun and very successful! Chris was playing fooseball in the garage with a friend and I started banging on the wall and screaming his name as if I had won the lottery. The joys in parenthood are sometimes absolutely hilarious!

Friendship...

I have the most amazing friends in all the world! No lie! The beauty and strength in these women just leave me with a sense of awe whenever I am around them...

Now it seems that making friends comes easy to me and I have been blessed with some of the kindest most amazing people who I am privledged to call my friend, however, it didn't used to be like that. I have a wonderful group of forever friends that I grew up with. We bonded over our love of dance and music and ability to act like complete goofballs together. But when it came to school, I never quite fit in. And what I regret most was never truly being myself back then. But, thankfully I figured out how ridiculous it was trying to be someone other than who I was just to fit in and after getting sick of being misunderstood I let that all go, and started focusing on me, on life, on love. I met the most wonderful man and moved with him across the country, the scariest and greatest thing I ever did! Although I miss my Buffalo loves, I know we will always be each others extended family and look forward to growing old together. Thank you T, G, E, K and M for being such important people in my life. The road I have been on has not always been an easy one, but with out you it would not have been fun either. I owe each of you so much and love you all unconditionally.

My core group of friends out here are some of the funniest and  awesome chicks I have ever known! The times I have spent with these women are never anything short of amazing! From talking shallow or deep the conversations are always nurturing and I don't know how I could ever live without them! We have been together for quite sometime and as we transition from the crazy partyers in our 20's to the fabulous mothers and wifes in our 30's I feel so full of light and love knowing I have these beauties in my life. So to my girls A, K, J, and L, my AZ family, I thank you for always being by my side on this journey, I am so grateful for each and every one of you and know that our friendship is true and will last the ever changing test of time! I also truly love and appreciate my dear K, J and L and wish more time could be spent with these radiant women. I know our lives can sometimes get the better of us and that we will always be able to come back to each other as if no time at all has passed. I am forever grateful to the 2 of you as well!

Now on to my mom friends. The women who have made me realize that AZ is truly where I am meant to be. The women who have shared their diapers, wipes, tears, fears, joys, depressions, confessions, advice and love with me and my daughter. In this short year I have made some of the best friendships of my entire life. Ones that I have no doubt will be everlasting. I cannot be more grateful of these women's presence in my life and I constantly am in disbelief that I get the honor to be in these women's lives as we raise our children together. Some I know because our parenting styles are similar, some because our entire families get along so well, and some because they are just so admirable! I am inspired on a daily basis and my social life has never been so fulfilling :) Words truly do not do how I feel about these moms imprint in my life justice. One of these wonderful souls mentioned how lucky she felt knowing that her daughter was going to be surrounded by all these amazing role models. That was something I had never thought of before, and now think of frequently. I am so blessed to have such strong, passionate and beautiful women surrounding my daughter and myself. What a wonderful way to raise a little girl! So a big thank you goes out to my closest moms, A, K, C, A, L, N, D, L, T, A, and S whose kindness for me and my daughter is so appreciated. You make it so easy for me to be the greatest mom to my little pixie that I possibly can be.

I am definitely one VERY lucky lady :)

A one year old...

I am the mother of a one year old little girl!!! And boy is she a little girl! The way she twirls, dances and "sings". The way she looks at herself in the mirror and says "pretty" whenever she puts on headbands or dresses, her crazy obsession with shoes. Oh what fun she is! I swear I cannot go more than 15 minutes without laughing during a day with her. It is so crazy to me that a little over one month ago she turned one. Its funny to me when other moms say "I don't even remember what it was like before I was a mom" while caressing their 5 month old. I for one do remember my life before her, but what I cannot remember is what it is like to not love her. Even though she has only been here for one of my twenty eight years, it feels as if I have always known her, that she has always been with me. Maybe that's because we fit so well together, that the love just flows so easily as if its always been. She really is so easy to love, with her giggles and squeals. The way she will sit in her reading nook for so long just flipping through her books. The way she LOVES to dance as if something inside her just bursts out whenever she hears music. How she will come up and give you a hug and a kiss, completely unprovoked, just because she wants to. I am truly a blessed woman to have such a love able soul as my daughter. The craziness that is motherhood is so worth just one of her smiles in the morning. So what if I don't sleep for a stretch longer than 2 hours, or that my shower doesn't get used as often as before. Who cares that I went to the store with 2 different flip flops on while wearing 2 pairs of sunglasses. Is it really that big of a deal that laundry is attacking my bedroom, and I haven't gotten a pedicure in months. Of course not. I am the mother of a toddler, my life will be a crazy mess until I no longer hold that title. And until that time comes, I will just keep on laughing and learning through all of the ups and downs that come along with being a first time mom to a very active, high need, beautiful little girl.

The following are a few photos from her first birthday...

And this is a favorite...